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Wednesday, May 20, 2015
Wednesday, October 29, 2014
grieve. pain. pissed.or I would actually say, numb. it just felt like a drowning for the third time in my life. or falling from 30,000 ft above helpless, and hoping somebody will save me. I was at my 2 percent. I couldn't tell anyone. At the brink of tears, constantly feeling the squeeze in my heart. They questioned me, I said I needed some sleep. 4 days of work was great. It wasn't the right time to be drowned by thoughts, it wasn't the right place to cry. the promise I made to myself. This is it. For the last time. thank you. thank you for making it clear. Friday, October 10, 2014
Not here.
Almost 20
Monday, September 29, 2014
There's so much going through my mind, recently.1 more semester and I'm done with school. Amazing how my internship went, definitely a memorable one. But again, I have been asking myself what you may call "imbecile/immature" question What am I gonna do after I graduate. Was joining Theme Park Management a mistake? I'm pretty sure event planning is not what i want anymore... (what the fuck) They say at the age of 20, I'm still young and can afford to try new thing. I feel that that's bullshit. yea I might have the opportunity to keep trying new things, but for how long? And, Wouldn't it be better if i have figured this out 3 years earlier before I got enrolled into event management. I could been able to do what I really love and not just blindly get enrolled to a course just because I thought that the internship might be fun. Fuck my imbecile thinking back then. -------------------- I would say that my parent did a great job for my upbringing. Like lending a helping hand to somebody and I get all guilty conscious if I can't. Not trying to say I'm a good/awesome person, but I had enough of somebody who don't appreciate others' kindness (let alone reciprocating), being irresponsible and behaving like a brat. But you know it sucks when you have always helping to same somebody but they just don't reciprocate when you needed a little bit help. but fine, lets talk about responsibility. The least you could do is to inform somebody if you can't make it and not wait till the very last minute. It's fucking irresponsible and inconsiderate. And this thought dawned upon me. "Being kind to others if being unkind to yourself" How many fucking times have I suffered from wanting to help people. The fact that some people are born self centered made me realize that I shouldn't even give a shit. --------------------- To the laoda . Thank you for having faith in me and believing that I have the caliber. I was never someone who has the confidence to lead people and do "big" things. I really appreciate for the the opportunity you have given me even when I might not be the best person that you can choose to be working with. But still, I was given the chance. I was positively overwhelmed when you said you've never 这么看好 someone before. Really thankful. --------------------- At about 2 months ago I made a promise to myself that this year it shall be. The year that I'm gonna clear my doubts. But I feel that I'm losing my courage as the date gets nearer... and somehow I still feel a little squeeze in my heart whenever the past was made aware of. Im afraid that you wouldn't be there. Can I
Saturday, June 28, 2014
Can I be more mature
Can I be more nonchalance
Can I be as willful as I want to
Can I not be affected
Can I be like her
Can I be like anybody else
Can I be smarter
Can I not feel inferior
Can I feel that I'm good enough
Can I be more capable
Can I get more respect for I'm in my position
Can I just be a kid
Can I just be back to 5
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